Prospectus Hit List for September 9
Hit List for September 6
Hit List for September 12
Teams are ordered based on Adjusted Hit List Factor, a computer generated number, and the author isn't responsible for the order of the teams.
| Rk | Tm | W | L | W1 | W2 | W3 | HLF | AHLF | Win Div% | Win WC% | Playoff% | 1-Day | 7-Day |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 |  | 89 | 50 | 93.0 | 98.2 | 97.2 | .679 | .674 | 100.0% | 0.0% | 100.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% |
| You have to wonder, if they went back in time, would the Astros draft Kris Bryant or kill baby Hitler? | |||||||||||||
| 2 |  | 78 | 61 | 84.1 | 87.9 | 88.3 | .608 | .613 | 60.0% | 30.5% | 90.6% | -0.4% | 5.4% |
| If the Red Sox aren’t careful with Yoan Moncada, they’ll make a movie about him starring Tom Hanks. | |||||||||||||
| 3 |  | 82 | 58 | 85.0 | 89.0 | 87.7 | .614 | .609 | 99.6% | 0.4% | 100.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% |
| Stephen Strasburg’s injury isn’t as big a problem as you might think because the Nationals can just pretend they shut him down. | |||||||||||||
| 4 |  | 81 | 58 | 80.1 | 80.7 | 79.6 | .578 | .583 | 95.0% | 4.5% | 99.4% | 0.5% | 2.1% |
| First LeBron comes back, then the Cavs win the championship, and now baseball is conspiring to help Cleveland. So [packs bags] I’m off to Canada. | |||||||||||||
| 5 |  | 79 | 60 | 77.6 | 83.8 | 83.7 | .583 | .578 | 92.5% | 7.1% | 99.6% | 0.1% | 2.5% |
| The Dodgers have used 15 different starting pitchers this year. Everyone wants one more chance to hear Vin Scully say their name. | |||||||||||||
| 6 |  | 77 | 62 | 79.5 | 80.8 | 81.2 | .573 | .577 | 29.2% | 50.8% | 80.1% | 1.8% | -13.7% |
| Should the Blue Jays bunt more? That and other questions are answered in my new book, The Only Rule Is It Can’t Possibly Work. | |||||||||||||
| 7 |  | 73 | 66 | 76.9 | 81.1 | 79.4 | .558 | .553 | 0.0% | 50.2% | 50.2% | -8.3% | -16.8% |
| The Cardinals are a half game out of the Wild Card which is strange because I thought the Cubs already won the World Series. | |||||||||||||
| 8 |  | 74 | 65 | 75.5 | 77.3 | 77.7 | .548 | .543 | 7.5% | 66.0% | 73.5% | 2.8% | -4.2% |
| If the Giants have learned anything this year, it’s that everybody feels sorry for you before you win three World Series in five years, but nobody feels sorry for you after you win three World Series in five years. | |||||||||||||
| 9 |  | 75 | 64 | 71.6 | 75.1 | 74.3 | .532 | .537 | 4.8% | 43.7% | 48.5% | 0.2% | -3.6% |
| A suggestion: perhaps it’s time for the Tigers to stop building their bullpens out of matchsticks and old gum on top of native burial grounds. | |||||||||||||
| 10 |  | 76 | 63 | 72.1 | 70.9 | 72.1 | .524 | .529 | 8.6% | 34.1% | 42.7% | 0.7% | 15.5% |
| Ubaldo Jimenez threw a two-hitter by which I mean he gave up two hits in nine innings, not, as he usually does, two hits to two hitters. | |||||||||||||
| 11 |  | 74 | 66 | 74.5 | 72.6 | 71.5 | .523 | .528 | 0.2% | 18.4% | 18.7% | -6.5% | -7.4% |
| Dallas Keuchel will undergo tests and miss at least two starts due to a sore shoulder. This reminds me of something my grandfather used to say: “son, if they offer you a multi-year deal for tens of millions of dollars, sign the damn thing!” | |||||||||||||
| 12 |  | 83 | 58 | 72.3 | 69.6 | 69.5 | .522 | .527 | 99.8% | 0.2% | 99.9% | 0.1% | 0.4% |
| Losing three of four to the Mariners and fire ants: things that keep the Rangers awake at night. | |||||||||||||
| 13 |  | 74 | 66 | 72.3 | 73.5 | 73.8 | .524 | .519 | 0.4% | 70.7% | 71.1% | 3.9% | 39.1% |
| There’s nothing shameful about signing Tim Tebow, the only shame is expecting anything from him. Oh, and in being cheap, having your money stolen by a shyster, and sexually harassing employees. | |||||||||||||
| 14 |  | 72 | 68 | 72.7 | 70.4 | 70.3 | .510 | .515 | 0.0% | 3.9% | 3.9% | 0.9% | -1.5% |
| The most exciting thing that happened at a Mariners game this season is a little girl with cotton candy all over her face. Or was that the Mariners backup catcher? | |||||||||||||
| 15 |  | 74 | 65 | 68.3 | 69.7 | 71.3 | .510 | .515 | 2.1% | 10.4% | 12.5% | 2.8% | 4.9% |
| The Yankees are young, exciting, and cheap. So, Jacoby Ellsbury extension? | |||||||||||||
| 16 |  | 67 | 73 | 71.5 | 72.3 | 72.0 | .505 | .500 | 0.0% | 0.4% | 0.4% | -0.1% | -0.9% |
| It’s hard to give up 14 runs in San Diego, but the Rockies pitching staff doesn’t give up easily. Or maybe they do. Either way, really. | |||||||||||||
| 17 |  | 69 | 71 | 69.7 | 70.4 | 69.6 | .498 | .493 | 0.0% | 1.6% | 1.6% | 0.2% | -8.1% |
| Giancarlo Stanton is back except all he can do now is pinch-hit. The one guy the cheap-o Marlins actually pay for and it turns out he’s a glorified Matt Stairs. | |||||||||||||
| 18 |  | 72 | 67 | 69.1 | 63.7 | 64.2 | .484 | .489 | 0.2% | 3.6% | 3.8% | -0.1% | -2.1% |
| The Royals seem to have run out of hotness for the first time in a few years. This is a problem I’ve dealt with for far longer than that. | |||||||||||||
| 19 |  | 59 | 80 | 66.3 | 69.2 | 71.3 | .478 | .483 | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% |
| Kevin Kiermaier homered twice but because they were for the Rays nobody saw them happen and they didn’t count. | |||||||||||||
| 20 |  | 69 | 69 | 68.0 | 63.9 | 64.6 | .481 | .476 | 0.0% | 3.5% | 3.5% | 1.4% | -11.5% |
| Trevor Williams won his first major league game and gave the game ball to his dad. I once made my dad a grilled cheese sandwich but I forgot the pickle. | |||||||||||||
| 21 |  | 67 | 72 | 65.6 | 64.2 | 64.9 | .471 | .476 | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | -0.0% |
| We can expect some good Chris Sale rumors this winter, like say, Chris Sale had gastric bypass surgery just in case. In case anyone needs one. | |||||||||||||
| 22 |  | 62 | 77 | 67.6 | 60.2 | 61.1 | .451 | .456 | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% |
| Tim Lincecum’s time with the Angels is over, which, if you really think about it, was about as predictable as the Mets signing Tim Tebow. | |||||||||||||
| 23 |  | 63 | 77 | 63.7 | 61.6 | 61.0 | .445 | .440 | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% |
| The Brewers are an uneven sidewalk in the race to the finish line. | |||||||||||||
| 24 |  | 60 | 79 | 56.9 | 57.1 | 57.8 | .417 | .422 | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% |
| The A’s are reportedly considering the docks at the Port of Oakland as a new stadium site, presumably because this would make shipping out their star players easier. | |||||||||||||
| 25 |  | 52 | 88 | 56.9 | 59.2 | 59.5 | .406 | .411 | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% |
| Brian Dozier keeps homering. He’d better stop or he’ll get cut and win three World Series in Boston. | |||||||||||||
| 26 |  | 58 | 82 | 61.9 | 54.7 | 54.7 | .409 | .405 | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% |
| When the Padres face the Rockies, you might expect the score to be 14-0, but which way? Think about it; it’s like a mental Rubik’s Cube. | |||||||||||||
| 27 |  | 58 | 81 | 55.5 | 56.4 | 57.4 | .409 | .404 | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% |
| The Diamondbacks front office is reportedly squabbling but that’s okay because they’re so good at everything else. | |||||||||||||
| 28 |  | 54 | 86 | 54.5 | 59.3 | 58.9 | .405 | .400 | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% |
| Dansby Swanson’s first homer, an inside-the-park job, came in Washington, and yet for some reason the Braves are blacked out in Arizona. | |||||||||||||
| 29 |  | 63 | 77 | 53.8 | 51.4 | 51.5 | .392 | .387 | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% |
| The Phillies will reportedly pursue veteran position players in free agency, which makes you think Ruben Amaro hasn’t left, he just put on Groucho glasses and ducked into the hallway. | |||||||||||||
| 30 |  | 57 | 82 | 56.7 | 50.5 | 51.1 | .387 | .383 | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% |
| The Reds are the Washington Generals of baseball. See if Curtis Granderson doesn’t throw a huge bucket of confetti on them tomorrow. | |||||||||||||
Words on baseball teams. Funny ones too!