Prospectus Hit List for September 23
Hit List for September 21
Hit List for September 25
Teams are ordered based on Adjusted Hit List Factor, a computer generated number, and the author isn't responsible for the order of the teams.
| Rk | Tm | W | L | W1 | W2 | W3 | HLF | AHLF | Win Div% | Win WC% | Playoff% | 1-Day | 7-Day |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 |  | 86 | 65 | 96.4 | 92.5 | 92.6 | .608 | .627 | 81.6% | 18.4% | 100.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% |
| David Price has a smile that could light up New York, which is being investigated thoroughly by the FBI as we speak. | |||||||||||||
| 2 |  | 80 | 72 | 86.5 | 90.4 | 90.4 | .571 | .591 | 26.0% | 58.1% | 84.1% | -6.4% | -1.1% |
| The Rangers reportedly approached the Astros at the deadline about dealing for Dallas Keuchel. Not the pitcher, the name. They supposedly offered Josh Hamilton and Elvis Andrus and you know, come to think of it, maybe this wasn't about the name... | |||||||||||||
| 3 |  | 83 | 67 | 84.3 | 82.7 | 84.1 | .557 | .576 | 18.4% | 81.5% | 99.9% | 0.3% | 3.2% |
| Carlos Beltran homered again. Ha ha, silly old person, he must think it’s the post-season. Better not give him his medication until this thing’s over. | |||||||||||||
| 4 |  | 87 | 63 | 82.7 | 77.8 | 78.3 | .543 | .563 | 100.0% | 0.0% | 100.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% |
| The Royals are gearing up for the post-season by being terrible and losing a lot. Don’t doubt them. They know what they’re doing. | |||||||||||||
| 5 |  | 95 | 56 | 89.6 | 83.4 | 83.5 | .582 | .562 | 91.8% | 8.2% | 100.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% |
| John Lackey has a 2.74 ERA in 207 innings while playing for the veteran minimum. To get him the Cardinals had to give up Allen Craig and Joe Kelly. Is this a dream or something? | |||||||||||||
| 6 |  | 85 | 65 | 82.8 | 91.4 | 89.5 | .581 | .561 | 99.1% | 0.0% | 99.1% | -0.5% | -0.4% |
| Alex Wood’s real first name is Robert but they called him Alex because they didn’t want him to end up as Bob Wood. | |||||||||||||
| 7 |  | 74 | 75 | 75.9 | 85.2 | 85.6 | .538 | .558 | 0.0% | 3.0% | 3.0% | -3.6% | -6.4% |
| It’s so sad that when they were invented people didn’t call spaceships manships because oh the fun the Cleveland bullpen would have half a century later! | |||||||||||||
| 8 |  | 91 | 60 | 86.3 | 86.0 | 85.0 | .577 | .557 | 7.8% | 92.2% | 100.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% |
| A cursory reading of the paper of record shows that Neil Walker has apparently dropped out of the Presidential race. I assume he did it to focus more on his fielding. | |||||||||||||
| 9 |  | 89 | 62 | 82.6 | 88.0 | 87.2 | .574 | .555 | 0.4% | 99.6% | 100.0% | 0.0% | 0.7% |
| After last night’s game Jake Arrieta has a 1.88 ER… wait a minute! [pulls off mask]… Pedro Martinez??? “I would have got away with it too, if it weren’t for you meddling kids!” | |||||||||||||
| 10 |  | 73 | 78 | 74.1 | 80.7 | 81.0 | .511 | .531 | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | -0.4% |
| They should make a commercial for Matt Moore in the style of the old Less Filling/Tastes Great beer ads where half the bar yells “Kinda terrible!” and the other yells “… yeah??” | |||||||||||||
| 11 |  | 78 | 72 | 83.1 | 86.3 | 83.0 | .551 | .531 | 0.5% | 0.0% | 0.5% | -0.5% | 0.0% |
| The Mets lost so the Nationals lost too. It’s like a children’s book about guilt. | |||||||||||||
| 12 |  | 85 | 66 | 82.1 | 83.8 | 81.4 | .550 | .530 | 99.5% | 0.0% | 99.5% | 0.5% | -0.3% |
| The Mets would love to shut down Matt Harvey for his own safety, but sadly they keep winning. Only the Mets could screw losing up. | |||||||||||||
| 13 |  | 79 | 71 | 83.9 | 83.5 | 83.1 | .549 | .529 | 0.9% | 0.0% | 0.9% | 0.5% | -0.0% |
| Last night the Giant’s 2-3-4-5 hitters were De Aza, Duffy, Crawford, and Byrd. If they were a firm of injury lawyers, Giants fans who attended the game should be lined up around the block. | |||||||||||||
| 14 |  | 81 | 69 | 74.5 | 72.9 | 73.4 | .503 | .523 | 71.8% | 22.4% | 94.1% | 3.3% | 21.2% |
| And now another Hit List False Fact (tm): Prince Fielder is really a prince! | |||||||||||||
| 15 |  | 74 | 76 | 77.9 | 72.2 | 73.1 | .495 | .515 | 0.0% | 0.2% | 0.2% | 0.1% | -0.5% |
| The Orioles are still not eliminated so if you hurry you there is time to flush real money down a well! | |||||||||||||
| 16 |  | 72 | 78 | 73.3 | 75.1 | 75.2 | .493 | .513 | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | -0.0% | -0.0% |
| The Red Sox are planning to play Hanley Ramirez at first base sometime over the remainder of the season. My advice: don’t look directly at the base! | |||||||||||||
| 17 |  | 74 | 77 | 69.7 | 75.4 | 76.3 | .489 | .509 | 0.0% | 0.3% | 0.3% | 0.2% | 0.2% |
| Two homers for Robinson Cano who is a strong candidate to win the AL’s Most Non-Essential Valuable Player of the Week award. | |||||||||||||
| 18 |  | 64 | 87 | 74.1 | 75.0 | 77.1 | .480 | .500 | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% |
| In the race for the most ponderous move of the previous off-season it looks like Billy Butler will get to take home an award after all. | |||||||||||||
| 19 |  | 77 | 74 | 73.1 | 69.1 | 70.8 | .480 | .500 | 2.2% | 7.3% | 9.5% | 2.4% | -0.3% |
| The Angels are within 2.5 games of the Astros, which sounds great so don't think about how that would sound last March. | |||||||||||||
| 20 |  | 77 | 73 | 74.8 | 66.9 | 67.1 | .476 | .496 | 0.0% | 8.8% | 8.8% | 3.6% | -16.0% |
| At this point even the Twins parents are like “Nope, didn’t see this happening.” | |||||||||||||
| 21 |  | 73 | 78 | 78.0 | 76.4 | 76.4 | .503 | .483 | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% |
| If you put the last names of the Diamondbacks four pitchers in last night’s game together, you get Ray Chafin, and Hudson Collmenter who I’m sure are second rate stars in the new Ghostbusters movie. | |||||||||||||
| 22 |  | 72 | 79 | 68.2 | 66.4 | 67.8 | .454 | .474 | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | -0.0% |
| The White Sox were two outs from being no-hit, got the game to extra innings, but lost because in the end they’re still the White Sox [sad face]. | |||||||||||||
| 23 |  | 70 | 81 | 64.3 | 68.3 | 69.7 | .451 | .471 | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% |
| A belated congratulations to the Tigers for being the first AL team eliminated from post-season contention! There’s a cake in the break room assuming the temps didn’t eat it already. | |||||||||||||
| 24 |  | 63 | 87 | 68.3 | 70.6 | 70.8 | .455 | .435 | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% |
| And now the most obvious joke: Billy Hamilton to undergo shoulder surg he’s done. | |||||||||||||
| 25 |  | 70 | 81 | 68.1 | 66.4 | 65.6 | .447 | .428 | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% |
| Know how many homers James Shields has given up this season? 30. Know how many homers it feels like James Shields has given up this season? 706! | |||||||||||||
| 26 |  | 64 | 87 | 67.7 | 68.1 | 67.4 | .442 | .423 | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% |
| In stunning news the Marlins have admitted to Dee Gordon fraud. Apparently they installed software in Dee Gordon that makes us think he’s good when he’s really not. | |||||||||||||
| 27 |  | 63 | 88 | 67.2 | 64.2 | 65.1 | .430 | .410 | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% |
| After the season Ryan Braun will have back After the season Ryan Braun will have back After the season Ryan Braun will have back After the season Ryan Braun will have back [slams keyboard] surgery. | |||||||||||||
| 28 |  | 63 | 88 | 64.0 | 60.0 | 58.2 | .406 | .387 | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% |
| I bet when they decided to name the Rockies someone said under their breath, “Yeah, that’s how their player development will go” and someone else said, “What?” and the first someone said, “Oh, nothing.” | |||||||||||||
| 29 |  | 61 | 91 | 55.0 | 55.9 | 55.8 | .375 | .356 | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% |
| The Braves announced that righty Mike Foltynewicz underwent surgery to remove several consonants. The surgery was successful and the Braves are looking forward to Mike Folnewiz joining them for spring training. | |||||||||||||
| 30 |  | 57 | 94 | 54.9 | 51.3 | 51.0 | .355 | .337 | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% |
| The Phillies have extended “Pete Mackanin.” Their manager will now be Pete Mackaninenun. Kinda hope he gets to keep the job at this point! | |||||||||||||
Check out this list of hits!