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Prospectus Hit List for August 7



by Matthew Kory

Hit List for August 5 Hit List for August 10
Teams are ordered based on Adjusted Hit List Factor, a computer generated number, and the author isn't responsible for the order of the teams.

This Hit List has been claimed on waivers, and you now have 48 hours to work out a deal. Go!

RkTmWLW1W2W3HLFAHLFWin Div%Win WC%Playoff%1-Day7-Day
1

61

49

64.1

65.9

66.2

.584

.604

69.9%

21.6%

91.5%

2.7%

-3.8%

Carlos Correa’s batting average isn’t 1.000 so I know he’s making outs sometime... right? Probably? I think?
2

61

46

60.7

62.6

61.7

.575

.594

73.6%

20.7%

94.3%

1.7%

1.3%

Jacoby Ellsbury beat the Red Sox with a solo homer. Finally! $153 million well spent!
3

58

52

66.8

63.4

62.7

.570

.590

21.4%

49.7%

71.1%

2.0%

24.9%

In the category of Most Valuable Non-Trout, I submit Josh Donaldson and his .932 OPS.
4

69

39

68.1

62.5

62.2

.606

.587

90.1%

9.6%

99.6%

0.1%

-0.1%

The Cardinals took out their starting center fielder and cleanup hitter for relief pitchers. Man. The National League… man.
5

62

46

61.6

68.4

66.5

.598

.579

86.5%

7.5%

94.0%

0.4%

4.2%

Zack Greinke bat-flipped after homering but didn’t glove-flip after allowing a homer. Double standard???
6

63

44

60.3

56.5

57.1

.553

.573

97.4%

1.1%

98.5%

-0.4%

0.4%

The Royals' bullpen gave up two runs in the ninth inning, the first time that’s happened ever in the history of history according to, like, everyone ‘n stuff.
7

57

50

58.5

55.7

56.5

.532

.552

26.0%

37.4%

63.4%

-0.9%

-14.0%

On Wednesday, Mike Trout went 0-for-4 with three strikeouts because Mike Trout has an overwhelming sense of fairness.
8

55

52

59.3

55.6

55.8

.527

.547

3.3%

19.7%

23.1%

-1.8%

3.4%

Are you aware Chris Davis has 28 homers and an on-base percentage above .300? Probably not because Chris Davis isn’t spelled M-a-n-n-y M-a-c-h-a-d-o.
9

48

62

58.5

59.2

59.9

.513

.533

0.1%

0.3%

0.4%

-0.2%

-0.6%

So it’s been like six months or so. Does anyone have any idea what the heck the A’s were doing signing Billy Butler yet?
10

59

49

60.6

59.9

58.7

.552

.532

13.2%

31.3%

44.5%

-6.6%

-15.5%

When Hunter Pence stands in the batter's box, he looks like he’s been alone in the arctic for months and is about to crush a seal with a bat. More players should try the crazed arctic seal killer style of hitting in my opinion.
11

62

44

58.7

56.3

54.7

.546

.526

7.1%

70.7%

77.7%

-0.0%

-4.6%

It appears A.J. Burnett will be able to come back and pitch for the Pirates this season after all. Death, taxes, and A.J. Burnett coming back to the Pirates.
12

54

55

53.3

55.9

56.2

.503

.523

1.7%

15.2%

16.9%

-1.2%

-1.7%

Now that the Rays have Daniel Nava, they’ll surely learn all the Red Sox signs. Kevin Cash, eagerly: “What’s bunt??” Nava: “[crosses shirt, touches cap]” Cash [shakes fist]: “I knew it!”
13

49

58

49.0

57.3

58.4

.499

.519

0.4%

3.7%

4.0%

0.2%

0.6%

When Indians fans see that Cody Allen gave up three runs to the Angels in the bottom of the ninth Wednesday and they see the “BS” next to his name they think “damn right!”
14

59

48

54.8

58.3

57.9

.537

.517

2.8%

63.9%

66.8%

4.9%

17.1%

The Cubs used six pitchers last night. One pitched four innings. He got no credit. The other five each pitched an inning. Four got holds and one got a save. Reliever statistics are the dumbest.
15

56

51

56.3

57.0

55.8

.526

.506

39.1%

9.3%

48.4%

4.9%

-32.8%

Do you know what Doug Fister punched the wall with when he heard he was being moved to the bullpen? His hand!
16

58

50

55.8

56.3

56.5

.525

.505

60.9%

6.2%

67.1%

-2.6%

36.3%

You think Mets Magic is a thing now? Wait until Michael Cuddyer comes back! Yeah, what you gonna do now, fate??
17

53

55

50.5

52.2

52.4

.482

.502

1.2%

6.8%

8.0%

1.2%

-3.5%

Miguel Cabrera could be ready to return in about two weeks! [checks standings] Whatever!
18

54

53

49.7

48.3

49.4

.471

.491

3.8%

12.8%

16.5%

-0.6%

10.9%

Before it was just hats and belt buckles, so you can see why they thought why not bring Cole Hamels in and have three things that are good.
19

50

59

48.5

52.0

53.7

.468

.488

0.3%

2.3%

2.5%

-0.8%

1.4%

If the Mariners won all their remaining games they’d still finish 13 games behind their 2001 selves.
20

52

55

54.1

53.8

54.0

.500

.480

0.2%

1.0%

1.2%

-0.6%

-1.5%

How good is Paul Goldschmidt? He got a day off and back-up catcher Jarrod Saltalamacchia, playing first in his stead, homered, walked twice, and scored two runs.
21

54

54

52.3

45.6

45.3

.456

.476

0.6%

5.4%

6.0%

-1.2%

-13.4%

On June 7, the Twins were 10 games over .500 and in first place by a game. This was their high water mark. Someone commission a painting.
22

48

61

46.7

48.7

49.2

.442

.462

0.0%

0.3%

0.3%

-0.3%

-0.3%

The Red Sox have a knuckleball pitcher. They are in last place. This is the natural order of things.
23

51

55

45.2

45.2

45.8

.441

.461

0.5%

2.9%

3.4%

-0.3%

-5.5%

At this point all that’s left to do is bring back Adam Dunn as a pitcher. Well what about if I say “pretty please with sugar on top?”
24

48

58

48.0

52.7

52.0

.473

.454

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

-0.1%

Three walks for Joey Votto who *sniff * reminds me… reminds me of… *sniff * of Adam Dunn waaaaaaaaaaahhh
25

52

57

48.4

46.6

47.6

.446

.427

0.1%

0.5%

0.6%

-0.4%

-2.4%

Brandon Morrow will likely need shoulder surgery after injuring it while on a rehab assignment. [Editor’s note: No Brandon Morrows were injured in the writing of this comment.]
26

43

66

48.3

50.7

50.5

.441

.422

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

-0.0%

-0.1%

Dee Gordon has as more stolen bases than extra base hits and as many caught stealings as walks.
27

47

63

49.7

47.6

47.8

.437

.417

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

The Brewers moved Kyle Lohse to the bullpen and are trying to trade him which is like taking the tires off your car, putting it up on blocks in your front yard, and then putting a “For Sale” sign on it.
28

45

61

46.5

45.6

45.3

.430

.411

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

The Troy Tulowitzki deal could be a masterstroke for the Rockies after they flip Jose Reyes WHATTAYOUMEANTHEYDIDN’TTRADEHIM??
29

49

60

46.3

44.2

44.0

.421

.402

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

-0.2%

In order from believable to nope: 1) A.J. Pierzynski who started, 2) at catcher, 3) batting cleanup, 4) had a hit, 5) and a walk, 6) and the Braves won, 7) and I’m a purple hippopotamus named boo-boo butt.
30

42

67

40.9

38.8

38.9

.368

.350

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

A little known option in Chase Utley’s contract will vest if he totals exactly 300 plate appearances, in which case the team will pay him his $15 million but he must play every game naked with an I LOVE RUBEN sign around his neck.