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Prospectus Hit List for June 5



by Matt Sussman

Hit List for June 4 Hit List for June 6
Teams are ordered based on Adjusted Hit List Factor, a computer generated number, and the author isn't responsible for the order of the teams.

Look: there's just no way you know ALL of these fun facts and have heard ALL of these jokes, right?

RkTmWLW1W2W3HLFAHLFWin Div%Win WC%Playoff%1-Day7-Day
1

31

25

35.6

39.1

38.6

.610

.629

85.3%

5.5%

90.8%

3.0%

-1.2%

On a scale from one to grandmother, how warm do you think a Prince Fielder hug feels?
2

36

23

36.8

37.1

36.5

.578

.597

48.8%

29.8%

78.6%

3.8%

9.7%

Ted Williams now has as many career hits as Ichiro, which makes me wish Ted Williams would have gone by his first name only, if for no other reason than to preemptively steal it away from that confounded bear movie.
3

35

22

33.6

33.1

33.1

.570

.590

67.7%

17.6%

85.2%

-3.1%

-1.2%

They allowed a run in every inning except for the inning David Murphy pitched. Know what I'm thinking? That's right: French toast sticks.
4

36

23

37.2

37.5

36.4

.591

.571

39.4%

48.4%

87.8%

-3.0%

0.2%

Once in a while, Sam LeCure has a bad game like he did yesterday, but it's usually just a placebo.
5

38

20

38.7

36.3

35.4

.588

.569

51.7%

39.8%

91.5%

-2.3%

3.2%

Matt Carpenter was hit three times yesterday, the first time that has happened to a Cardinal. Maybe he shouldn't stand so close.
6

35

25

34.1

35.3

34.1

.548

.567

28.8%

34.3%

63.1%

-3.2%

11.5%

Sean Doolittle faced three batters and they all scored and nope not gonna make fun of his name here.
7

33

25

30.0

28.0

28.4

.540

.560

29.5%

33.6%

63.1%

3.0%

-12.0%

Lyle Overbay played right field in Yankee Stadium, but it's no big deal since it's basically three giant steps behind first base.
8

31

26

30.6

31.4

32.1

.537

.557

13.0%

28.8%

41.9%

-3.6%

3.2%

Matt Moore went two innings and gave up six walks. The only other Rays pitcher to do that was Victor Zambrano on May 15, 2004. Fun fact: Victor Martinez was in the other lineup both times.
9

26

33

28.0

29.7

28.3

.519

.539

3.0%

11.4%

14.5%

1.6%

-6.9%

Before that go-ahead home run, Albert Pujols' last three dingers against the Cubs were all off Rodrigo Lopez. Remember him? Ask him if he remembers those home runs.
10

36

22

35.6

35.2

33.9

.559

.539

82.9%

6.6%

89.5%

2.3%

10.6%

They already have more stolen bases in June (three) than they had in May (two).
11

30

28

30.4

30.1

30.8

.508

.528

13.1%

15.0%

28.2%

-3.0%

-4.3%

If Mike Aviles is thrown out of a game that already ended ... I forget the question
12

33

25

31.1

31.4

31.5

.508

.528

8.6%

19.3%

27.9%

3.7%

11.2%

Now with 26 doubles, how exciting would it be if Manny Machado broke the single-season doubles record, compared to the home run record? I guess half as exciting.
13

33

25

31.7

32.0

32.2

.539

.519

48.0%

12.4%

60.4%

1.8%

3.0%

B.J. Upton is fixed, and all it took was weeks of questioning his contract.
14

35

24

31.5

30.3

30.9

.522

.502

8.8%

42.8%

51.6%

-4.8%

-3.3%

It's impossible for Jason Grilli to allow earned runs. He must have collected all seven Chaos Emeralds.
15

25

32

24.2

26.4

26.4

.513

.493

15.3%

7.1%

22.3%

2.4%

-4.0%

Yasiel Puig may be the perfect prospect in that his name boasts a nearly barren source of puns.
16

31

27

27.6

29.4

30.8

.510

.490

23.5%

10.0%

33.5%

1.1%

3.3%

Sergio Romo may as well operate a White Castle because he serves nothing but sliders.
17

31

28

32.5

34.0

33.1

.507

.487

11.7%

7.1%

18.8%

3.1%

0.0%

Yesterday, Josh Outman was credited with the win and Rex Brothers earned the save. I saw the Outman Brothers back in '81. Great show.
18

26

33

25.0

27.9

28.5

.464

.484

0.5%

1.3%

1.7%

0.4%

-0.3%

With the way he's hitting, it's as if someone is telling Raul Ibaņez before every at bat that he's pinch-hitting for Alex Rodriguez.
19

24

34

24.9

24.2

25.5

.462

.482

0.1%

0.8%

0.9%

-0.7%

-1.4%

Only one of their batters walked yesterday and it was Josh Johnson.
20

29

29

26.0

25.5

25.9

.494

.474

13.5%

16.8%

30.4%

1.3%

-11.4%

If you want to stay abreast of all their roster changes this week, consider something simpler like Vulcan chess.
21

23

32

26.1

21.8

22.2

.448

.468

0.6%

0.7%

1.3%

-0.9%

-1.5%

Yesterday was the first time they couldn't muster more than four hits against the Twins since 2007, when Scott Baker one-hit them. Impress your co-workers with this one.
22

23

33

27.8

29.0

29.0

.484

.464

0.1%

1.8%

1.9%

-0.0%

0.2%

DHing Alfonso Soriano is no doubt a blatant attempt to showcase to American League teams his versatility before the trade deadline.
23

26

29

26.2

25.2

26.3

.441

.461

0.5%

0.7%

1.2%

0.0%

0.9%

Mike Pelfrey's season ERA is 6.66, in case you were wondering whose blood-curdling voice that was haunting your dreams.
24

24

32

23.3

23.0

21.7

.440

.460

0.5%

1.1%

1.6%

-0.9%

-7.7%

Jake Peavy had an early exit in Seattle, but it was on the West coast, so according to Chicago time it was right on schedule.
25

29

30

25.0

25.6

25.0

.461

.441

3.0%

5.1%

8.1%

-0.9%

1.0%

John Mayberry was going to send Phillies fans home happy one way or the other: either a walkoff grand slam or coupons for free cookies.
26

26

32

25.7

25.4

25.3

.456

.436

1.5%

0.7%

2.2%

-0.7%

-1.6%

Kyle Blanks has a chance to be the best player to wear 88 in history. Albert Belle doesn't count.
27

22

35

23.0

23.5

24.9

.446

.426

0.0%

0.6%

0.6%

0.1%

-0.3%

That's right. Keep inserting Yuniesky Betancourt into walkoff hit situations and inflate his trade value. Somebody will bite.
28

22

33

22.2

22.1

21.6

.440

.421

0.6%

0.7%

1.4%

-0.2%

-0.9%

Omar Quintinalla went 2-for-3 with a double, triple, walk and two RBIs, and is worth five times as much as Bobby Bonilla, I am assuming.
29

21

38

20.5

18.2

20.5

.361

.380

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

The six-game winning streak is over, but the memories will last a lifetime. The vivid, bone-chilling memories.
30

16

43

19.8

16.8

16.6

.347

.329

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Edgar Olmos allowed four runs but they were unearned because of a fielding error by Edgar Olmos, which is why the SEC should start investigating ERA fraud.