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Prospectus Hit List for May 30



by Matt Sussman

Hit List for May 29 Hit List for May 31
Teams are ordered based on Adjusted Hit List Factor, a computer generated number, and the author isn't responsible for the order of the teams.

Within: long cons, anagrams, neck fat.

RkTmWLW1W2W3HLFAHLFWin Div%Win WC%Playoff%1-Day7-Day
1

29

22

31.9

35.1

34.2

.607

.626

80.1%

9.5%

89.6%

-2.5%

2.3%

Jhonny Peralta leads all middle infielders in the month of May in both OPS and neck fat.
2

32

20

31.6

31.0

30.7

.577

.597

70.5%

15.6%

86.1%

-0.9%

-3.9%

A pessimist would look at a rainstorm and see no baseball. An optimist sees rain and sees a night at home with sandwiches and video games.
3

32

22

31.5

31.4

30.6

.557

.577

32.3%

29.9%

62.2%

-6.5%

-0.5%

John Lackey pushed the boundary of a quality start by allowing three solo home runs.
4

33

20

33.7

33.0

31.9

.589

.570

37.9%

48.1%

86.0%

-0.8%

2.2%

It's dangerous to bat Ryan Hanigan and Jack Hannahan back to back. Even Hanigan and Hannahan cannot tell each other apart.
5

30

22

27.9

26.0

26.1

.547

.567

45.8%

25.9%

71.6%

-3.2%

-8.4%

Suddenly the idea of Ramon Ortiz joining their starting rotation doesn't seem too crazy. Well, it is. But given the standard.
6

35

17

34.1

31.9

31.4

.586

.567

49.2%

42.3%

91.4%

2.0%

10.0%

For tough, gritty eighth-inning rallies, get what the pros use. Get new maximum-strength Descalso. Now sold at retailers near you.
7

28

24

27.7

28.9

29.5

.538

.558

16.1%

27.4%

43.5%

2.5%

2.3%

Desmond Jennings has some good splits against the Marlins, proving he is a professional baseball player.
8

31

23

30.0

30.0

29.1

.536

.556

22.9%

32.1%

55.0%

1.9%

20.4%

Every day Nate Freiman can stay in the big leagues is one more day he doesn't have to live with Master Shake and Meatwad.
9

28

24

28.2

28.2

28.4

.519

.539

15.7%

21.5%

37.2%

4.6%

-10.5%

It's hard to prove Jason Giambi and Mark Reynolds are father and son, but it's also hard to disprove.
10

24

29

25.6

26.7

25.8

.516

.536

6.1%

14.7%

20.8%

2.4%

4.8%

Jered Weaver is back from the disabled list and nobody can touch him. It's a new clubhouse rule; they can't take any chances.
11

30

22

29.0

29.1

29.3

.544

.524

50.1%

9.3%

59.5%

4.5%

10.5%

Gerardo Parra leads the league with seven times caught stealing. He only has four stolen bases.
12

29

24

28.4

28.6

28.3

.504

.524

5.2%

12.7%

17.9%

3.1%

3.4%

Really getting tired of this Chris Davis-Miguel Cabrera MVP debate. It's the same thing every year.
13

31

21

30.7

29.6

28.7

.543

.523

65.2%

8.5%

73.7%

-3.7%

-7.3%

Do you remember that moment last night when time suddenly stopped? That was when Freddie Freeman tripled.
14

33

20

29.9

29.9

29.9

.540

.520

12.7%

47.9%

60.7%

3.8%

11.9%

Not only did they win, but they had two errors on a play: one by the first baseman, and one by the third baseman who was playing in the second base position.
15

22

29

21.3

24.3

24.2

.513

.493

16.6%

6.6%

23.2%

-2.4%

-2.7%

Leave it to Hollywood to try and make a sequel to the 2011 Red Sox that nobody asked for.
16

28

25

26.0

26.8

28.0

.511

.491

20.5%

8.5%

29.0%

-2.4%

-14.3%

It's amazing that Hunter Pence can even concentrate on baseball during mating season.
17

28

25

29.5

30.9

30.3

.510

.490

9.9%

5.2%

15.1%

-3.4%

-7.7%

Troy Tulowitzki picked the wrong time zone to break out a two-homer night.
18

23

30

23.2

22.3

23.5

.468

.488

0.6%

2.9%

3.6%

0.9%

-0.3%

All that universal health care can't fix Ricky Romero's pitching, but he's got free eyeglasses for life.
19

24

26

22.2

22.9

22.0

.465

.485

3.1%

4.8%

7.9%

-1.4%

-0.1%

Brian Omogrosso's ERA is up to an even 7.00. That's just ... what's the word for it? Ah yes. Disgusting.
20

27

26

24.0

24.0

24.1

.501

.481

27.0%

14.0%

41.0%

-2.0%

0.0%

Ryan ZImmerman hit three home runs, Jordan Zimmermann allowed three home runs, and Johnnn Zimmermannn doesn't exist. Yet.
21

22

31

21.7

24.5

25.2

.456

.476

0.4%

1.3%

1.7%

-0.5%

-2.4%

Do not stare directly at their lineup or else you become part of it. (This is how Raul Ibanez got stuck there.)
22

21

29

24.2

20.7

20.8

.454

.474

0.9%

1.4%

2.3%

-0.6%

-7.2%

They would consider trading for Don Mattingly, but only to play first base.
23

21

30

25.6

27.5

27.6

.491

.471

0.1%

1.7%

1.8%

0.3%

-1.2%

Dioner Navarro is the first catcher to hit three homers in a game since John Buck, which while we're on the subject, do you want to trade for Alfonso Soriano?
24

24

28

23.7

23.8

24.0

.466

.446

2.8%

1.7%

4.5%

0.5%

0.1%

It's a shame they don't celebrate walkoff victories in Petco Park by releasing a herd of dogs.
25

22

28

22.4

20.7

21.9

.421

.441

0.2%

0.3%

0.5%

0.2%

0.2%

How long until Josh Willingham is sold through QVC? And how long until Ron Gardenhire is a QVC host?
26

26

27

21.9

22.5

22.3

.456

.436

5.8%

4.2%

10.0%

2.5%

-0.9%

Domonic Brown just may have enough power to sustain an on-base of over .300. Maybe!
27

21

29

21.3

21.3

21.3

.454

.434

2.0%

1.4%

3.4%

1.2%

0.7%

Marlon Byrd homering against the Yankees is merely a tryout to be the next random Yankees outfielder later this year.
28

19

32

20.7

21.5

23.2

.448

.429

0.0%

0.6%

0.7%

-0.2%

-1.6%

Yuniesky Betancourt playing first base is a long con by traditional baseballists to demonstrate that Betancourt gets to first base more than you think.
29

16

37

17.2

15.3

17.3

.348

.366

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

According to these lab results, Jose Veras is an anagram for Jose Saver.
30

13

40

16.1

13.3

13.3

.331

.313

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

For the last 15 games, their 3-4 hitters have been Derek Dietrich and Marcell Ozuna, who are not video game-generated character names.