Quantcast

Prospectus Hit List for April 14



by Matt Sussman

Hit List for April 11 Hit List for April 16
Teams are ordered based on Adjusted Hit List Factor, a computer generated number, and the author isn't responsible for the order of the teams.

Lose yourself in the Hit List/the wit list/you own it/you better never let it go.

RkTmWL W1W2W3HLFAHLFWin Div%Win WC%Playoff%1-Day7-Day
1

10

2

9.2

9.7

9.7

.650

.631

34.1%

19.9%

54.0%

2.6%

20.3%

It's been a long time since the Brewers won nine straight games in April. You have to go back all the way to 2013, and they finished 74-88 that year.
2

8

4

8.3

8.3

8.4

.606

.625

37.1%

22.2%

59.3%

5.6%

14.6%

Brad Pitt has already turned down the chance to star in "The Week Jim Johnson Was Closer," a short film I wrote during a lunch break last week.
3

9

4

7.9

7.9

7.6

.605

.585

70.4%

20.1%

90.5%

1.3%

3.1%

Their outfield is too crowded! (Three of their outfielders have an OPS below .700.) Trade one of them!
4

8

4

7.7

8.2

8.3

.586

.567

28.4%

19.4%

47.8%

0.5%

4.3%

Aaron Harang is tied for the league ERA lead, which he usually does every year but this time the season has actually started.
5

8

5

7.5

6.6

6.4

.546

.526

21.8%

39.9%

61.7%

6.1%

-0.6%

We all know the real Home Run King is Madison Bumgarner.
6

6

6

7.2

7.3

6.8

.555

.575

33.7%

22.2%

55.9%

-1.3%

-0.1%

Raul Ibaņez continues to hit dramatic home runs and call it a "car phone."
7

7

6

7.1

6.5

6.2

.512

.532

12.3%

18.5%

30.8%

5.9%

7.8%

Jose Bautista is sporting a funky .225/.446/.625 batting split and has more walks than Adam Dunn and Joey Votto combined.
8

6

5

7.1

6.9

7.3

.558

.577

14.9%

18.0%

32.9%

-4.0%

-5.0%

We're back to the natural alignment of the universe where the only person who can close games in baseball is Fernando Rodney.
9

7

5

7.0

6.4

6.6

.557

.537

58.1%

15.8%

73.9%

-1.7%

-0.9%

Two players on the team (Steven Souza, Blake Treinen), are making their MLB debut this year. Both are three years older than Bryce Harper.
10

7

6

6.8

7.1

7.1

.506

.526

13.5%

6.6%

20.1%

2.1%

5.0%

Are you sitting down? Get this: they have twice as many runs as the Tigers and Reds combined. Also please stay sitting down; we are in a rowboat.
11

5

8

6.7

6.9

7.2

.462

.442

1.1%

1.5%

2.6%

-1.3%

-3.9%

Jeff Baker is struggling, but more importantly he was born in Bad Kissingen, Germany, and refuses to respond to anything but The Makeout King.
12

7

6

6.6

7.2

7.4

.550

.570

43.8%

22.9%

66.7%

-0.0%

-1.0%

Of all the Ben Zobrists in the world, you're the Ben Zobristest.
13

6

7

6.6

7.4

7.1

.503

.483

2.5%

10.1%

12.6%

-5.6%

-1.7%

The offense is clicking, now they just need some pitcher, and for those pitchers to throw baseballs of pure adamantium.
14

6

7

6.3

5.8

6.0

.473

.493

13.1%

7.3%

20.4%

-2.9%

-4.2%

David Murphy has a team-best 11 RBI and hasn't batted in the top six of the lineup. Yet another way Cleveland is just like Texas.
15

6

6

6.3

5.8

5.9

.472

.492

5.2%

3.5%

8.7%

1.8%

0.7%

This team just keeps sticking Josmil Pinto at DH and he hits a home run and they sweep the Royals and is that blood I taste?
16

4

8

6.3

7.1

6.8

.503

.483

10.9%

8.9%

19.8%

-0.5%

-7.6%

30 percent of their runs this season were scored yesterday.
17

6

6

6.1

5.5

5.8

.488

.468

8.8%

9.5%

18.3%

-3.6%

-6.7%

Being swept in Milwaukee is no fun. They can't all be games against the Cubs. The Office of the Commissioner made that very clear.
18

7

5

6.0

5.1

5.2

.514

.494

44.8%

18.2%

63.0%

3.8%

2.4%

Randy Choate has faced eight right-handed batters and six lefties, proving Mike Matheny is just tired of walking out there, man.
19

7

6

5.9

6.8

6.3

.510

.530

18.8%

19.8%

38.5%

4.1%

3.0%

There are about 75 gently-used first basemen floating in free agency limbo and they're going with Francisco Cervelli as their stopgap.
20

5

8

5.7

5.6

5.7

.485

.505

21.6%

20.6%

42.2%

-5.7%

-8.0%

On the bright side, Koji Uehera missing time due to an injury is a great way to extend his streak of days without giving up a run.
21

6

6

5.4

5.5

5.7

.473

.453

8.0%

8.8%

16.8%

2.3%

-1.1%

Right now Chase Utley is hitting the cover off the ball. When asked about it, he said "I think these baseballs are defective!"
22

4

8

5.1

5.5

5.4

.435

.415

1.5%

2.2%

3.7%

-1.8%

-3.1%

Nobody can ever pronounce or spell Jeff Samardzija, so perhaps he can alphabetize it to make it easier for everyone. You would buy a Jeff Aaadijmrsz shirsey.
23

6

4

5.1

5.4

5.1

.536

.556

57.5%

7.8%

65.3%

-2.9%

-3.8%

Friday night: the team gets one hit. Saturday: Justin Verlander gets two hits. Sunday: the team treats themselves with a copy of Bad Company's "Greatest Hits."
24

6

6

5.0

5.5

5.0

.475

.495

14.1%

17.2%

31.2%

4.1%

-0.5%

Quick, try to name the current rotation: yes, no, hurt, hurt, no, hurt, that's a football player, no, no, you already said him.
25

5

7

4.9

4.1

4.0

.428

.448

3.5%

7.0%

10.5%

-2.7%

-1.7%

Delmon Young had two outfield assists yesterday, but the real question is why were you in the lineup against the Orioles?
26

5

7

4.8

5.7

5.7

.472

.452

4.4%

15.7%

20.1%

2.2%

-1.2%

After being pranked by teammates in Triple-A, no way Jeff Francoeur falls for the "you've been called up to the Padres" classic gag.
27

4

11

4.6

5.4

5.7

.405

.386

0.9%

4.5%

5.4%

-2.0%

-3.9%

Since the Dodgers jumped into their pool, Arizona is 0-5 against them. Perhaps the D'backs should just find a pool in LA and commandeer it, just to break the streak.
28

5

7

4.4

2.8

3.1

.391

.372

4.4%

5.4%

9.9%

-2.3%

0.4%

Jose Valverde is on the perfect team: allowing game-tying home runs for a fanbase who can no longer feel additional anguish.
29

5

8

4.1

3.4

3.5

.358

.377

0.2%

0.5%

0.7%

-0.4%

-0.9%

The most extreme shift they played this year was moving the third baseman all the way into a Houston family's home and turn their TV to the Astros game.
30

4

7

3.8

4.6

4.7

.437

.456

10.7%

5.9%

16.5%

-3.6%

-6.0%

Like ancient indigenous tribes, the Royals only need one home run and resourcefully use every part of it.