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Prospectus Hit List for September 25



by Matt Sussman

Hit List for September 24 Hit List for September 26
Teams are ordered based on Adjusted Hit List Factor, a computer generated number, and the author isn't responsible for the order of the teams.

The last Wednesday Hit List of the season.

RkTm WLW1W2W3HLFAHLFWin Div%Win WC%Playoff%1-Day7-Day
1

95

63

97.3

96.8

95.9

.609

.628

100.0%

0.0%

100.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Shane Victorino looks at the left-hander's batter's box the way we all look at our college exes. Great times we'll never forget, but we've moved on and they're still alone, no surprise.
2

94

64

93.0

92.6

90.4

.585

.605

100.0%

0.0%

100.0%

0.0%

0.0%

One argument for Josh Donaldson winning the MVP is it might educate baseball fans that there is a baseball player named Josh Donaldson who plays for the Oakland A's.
3

93

64

93.8

92.3

88.7

.586

.566

100.0%

0.0%

100.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Smart of Andrelton Simmons to hit the game-winning single in a place where Andrelton Simmons' evil twin Scoundrelton Simmons could not catch it.
4

93

65

97.0

90.2

90.0

.586

.566

94.1%

5.9%

100.0%

0.0%

0.2%

Michael Wacha had to settle for a one-hitter, but so did Bobby McFerrin, and everything worked out for him.
5

92

66

97.0

104.1

102.8

.627

.645

99.9%

0.1%

100.0%

0.0%

0.0%

The Tigers clinched at least a Wild Card berth, which is not worthy of a champagne shower, but using Faygo Red Pop is acceptable.
6

91

67

84.8

87.5

88.5

.557

.537

3.9%

96.1%

100.0%

0.0%

0.5%

It's time to celebrates, because now they clinched a winning record in the event a gremlin appears from another universe and magically steals A.J. Burnett's won games.
7

91

66

85.6

90.9

88.5

.567

.547

100.0%

0.0%

100.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Could Yasiel Puig also help rebuild the Lakers? Absolutely not; bat flips after every free throw could really injure somebody.
8

90

68

92.5

93.0

93.1

.583

.564

2.0%

98.0%

100.0%

0.0%

2.6%

The most anyone pitched yesterday for Cincinnati was Zach Duke (2 1/3 IP) and the staff gave up four runs. Sharing is caring.
9

88

69

83.9

92.5

92.9

.569

.588

0.0%

95.3%

95.3%

2.7%

26.0%

Jake Odorizzi earned a three-inning save on Mariano Rivera bobblehead day, effectively cancelling out everything in the cosmos.
10

87

70

85.3

83.0

83.1

.539

.559

0.1%

64.9%

65.0%

1.5%

10.7%

Jason Giambi has now set a record with walkoff home runs in seven consecutive ice ages.
11

86

71

87.6

86.6

86.2

.552

.571

0.0%

39.7%

39.7%

-2.6%

-23.0%

Now they look like a playoff contender! All they had to do was finally win consecutive games in September.
12

84

74

82.2

82.9

80.9

.522

.502

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

-3.3%

I've been reading current events and don't really know who this Phil A. Buster guy is, but he seems to work counts if he can hit, get him in the lineup already.
13

83

74

83.7

76.9

77.8

.512

.532

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

-1.4%

-2.9%

Oh well. Maybe there is another farm Dayton Moore can sell for a 2014 run. Check out near Emporia.
14

82

75

76.5

68.8

70.7

.475

.495

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

-0.3%

-2.4%

Last call for any more Yankees to retire at the end of the season, because Brian Cashman needs a head count on how many other close-to-retirement free agents to sign this winter.
15

81

76

82.5

79.7

80.9

.516

.536

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

-8.4%

Good news, Baltimore! Manny Machado should be ready for 2014. Bad news: so will the rest of the team.
16

80

77

79.1

77.1

76.9

.499

.479

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

With their MLB-highest 24th extra-inning game played last night, the Diamondbacks' 25th will be free.
17

77

80

78.9

80.1

79.0

.502

.522

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

You can never tell if the Angels bullpen will blow up in your face, which is why it's humorous to an audience that Wile E. Coyote uses it to catch roadrunners.
18

73

84

67.9

68.4

69.2

.443

.424

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Four of Tyson Ross's six starts with at least seven innings and fewer than two runs allowed resulted in no decisions. But San Diego doesn't call them no decisions. They call them "camouflage wins."
19

72

85

73.7

71.2

73.1

.462

.482

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

If you notice Blue Jays start to grow beards, just understand that it happens naturally to people in Canada this time of year. It's like when the leaves change.
20

72

85

71.7

69.4

68.6

.449

.429

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

And the race for third place in the NL East is officially on. [inserts cassette of Styx's "Renegade" into AMC Pacer]
21

72

85

64.9

64.8

66.2

.427

.407

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

In two starts this year, Zach Miner has gone just seven innings but allowed one run. Just get nine more Zach Miners, maybe a long reliever, and you got a stew goin'.
22

72

86

75.4

74.8

71.7

.465

.445

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

D.J. LeMahieu, but then again D.J. LeMa-not.
23

72

85

71.3

75.6

76.4

.470

.450

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Once the season is over, Pablo Sandoval, Buster Posey and Hunter Pence can work on their NES Ice Hockey costumes.
24

70

87

72.3

74.8

76.9

.468

.448

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Jonathan Lucroy has as many stolen bases (7) as he has passed balls.
25

69

89

65.7

70.7

70.6

.437

.457

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Tonight on Hard Copy: Justin Smoak's batting average is up to .240. Are your children safe? Stay tuned, but no they're not.
26

66

91

61.7

65.8

66.4

.414

.433

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Instead of baseball, how about paying ticket holders just get to have lunch with Joe Mauer? That way everybody goes home happy.
27

65

93

70.6

73.9

74.6

.450

.430

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Theory: Cubs box scores in September are randomly-generated and they aren't even playing the games and nobody is noticing.
28

62

95

66.1

65.1

65.3

.412

.431

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Only this team could hit back-to-back home runs in the ninth inning to take the lead and still lose the game. Well, the White Sox and my Baseball Stars squad. Bunch of dorks.
29

58

100

62.5

59.8

60.5

.381

.362

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Christian Yelich's pitch total per at bat yesterday: six, seven, eight, nine. If yesterday was Opening Day, he'd be on pace for a 500-pitch at bat by September.
30

51

107

55.8

50.9

54.0

.335

.353

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Seven runs in six games. When will this losing streak end? (Spoiler: probably by the weekend.)