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Prospectus Hit List for May 30



by Matt Sussman

Hit List for May 29 Hit List for May 31
Teams are ordered based on Adjusted Hit List Factor, a computer generated number, and the author isn't responsible for the order of the teams.

Within: long cons, anagrams, neck fat.

Rk TmWLW1W2W3HLFAHLFWin Div%Win WC%Playoff%1-Day7-Day
1

27

26

24.0

24.0

24.1

.501

.481

27.0%

14.0%

41.0%

-2.0%

0.0%

Ryan ZImmerman hit three home runs, Jordan Zimmermann allowed three home runs, and Johnnn Zimmermannn doesn't exist. Yet.
2

23

30

23.2

22.3

23.5

.468

.488

0.6%

2.9%

3.6%

0.9%

-0.3%

All that universal health care can't fix Ricky Romero's pitching, but he's got free eyeglasses for life.
3

32

20

31.6

31.0

30.7

.577

.597

70.5%

15.6%

86.1%

-0.9%

-3.9%

A pessimist would look at a rainstorm and see no baseball. An optimist sees rain and sees a night at home with sandwiches and video games.
4

28

24

27.7

28.9

29.5

.538

.558

16.1%

27.4%

43.5%

2.5%

2.3%

Desmond Jennings has some good splits against the Marlins, proving he is a professional baseball player.
5

35

17

34.1

31.9

31.4

.586

.567

49.2%

42.3%

91.4%

2.0%

10.0%

For tough, gritty eighth-inning rallies, get what the pros use. Get new maximum-strength Descalso. Now sold at retailers near you.
6

28

25

26.0

26.8

28.0

.511

.491

20.5%

8.5%

29.0%

-2.4%

-14.3%

It's amazing that Hunter Pence can even concentrate on baseball during mating season.
7

22

31

21.7

24.5

25.2

.456

.476

0.4%

1.3%

1.7%

-0.5%

-2.4%

Do not stare directly at their lineup or else you become part of it. (This is how Raul Ibanez got stuck there.)
8

24

28

23.7

23.8

24.0

.466

.446

2.8%

1.7%

4.5%

0.5%

0.1%

It's a shame they don't celebrate walkoff victories in Petco Park by releasing a herd of dogs.
9

33

20

29.9

29.9

29.9

.540

.520

12.7%

47.9%

60.7%

3.8%

11.9%

Not only did they win, but they had two errors on a play: one by the first baseman, and one by the third baseman who was playing in the second base position.
10

26

27

21.9

22.5

22.3

.456

.436

5.8%

4.2%

10.0%

2.5%

-0.9%

Domonic Brown just may have enough power to sustain an on-base of over .300. Maybe!
11

31

23

30.0

30.0

29.1

.536

.556

22.9%

32.1%

55.0%

1.9%

20.4%

Every day Nate Freiman can stay in the big leagues is one more day he doesn't have to live with Master Shake and Meatwad.
12

21

29

21.3

21.3

21.3

.454

.434

2.0%

1.4%

3.4%

1.2%

0.7%

Marlon Byrd homering against the Yankees is merely a tryout to be the next random Yankees outfielder later this year.
13

30

22

27.9

26.0

26.1

.547

.567

45.8%

25.9%

71.6%

-3.2%

-8.4%

Suddenly the idea of Ramon Ortiz joining their starting rotation doesn't seem too crazy. Well, it is. But given the standard.
14

22

28

22.4

20.7

21.9

.421

.441

0.2%

0.3%

0.5%

0.2%

0.2%

How long until Josh Willingham is sold through QVC? And how long until Ron Gardenhire is a QVC host?
15

19

32

20.7

21.5

23.2

.448

.429

0.0%

0.6%

0.7%

-0.2%

-1.6%

Yuniesky Betancourt playing first base is a long con by traditional baseballists to demonstrate that Betancourt gets to first base more than you think.
16

13

40

16.1

13.3

13.3

.331

.313

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

For the last 15 games, their 3-4 hitters have been Derek Dietrich and Marcell Ozuna, who are not video game-generated character names.
17

22

29

21.3

24.3

24.2

.513

.493

16.6%

6.6%

23.2%

-2.4%

-2.7%

Leave it to Hollywood to try and make a sequel to the 2011 Red Sox that nobody asked for.
18

21

29

24.2

20.7

20.8

.454

.474

0.9%

1.4%

2.3%

-0.6%

-7.2%

They would consider trading for Don Mattingly, but only to play first base.
19

16

37

17.2

15.3

17.3

.348

.366

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

According to these lab results, Jose Veras is an anagram for Jose Saver.
20

29

22

31.9

35.1

34.2

.607

.626

80.1%

9.5%

89.6%

-2.5%

2.3%

Jhonny Peralta leads all middle infielders in the month of May in both OPS and neck fat.
21

28

25

29.5

30.9

30.3

.510

.490

9.9%

5.2%

15.1%

-3.4%

-7.7%

Troy Tulowitzki picked the wrong time zone to break out a two-homer night.
22

28

24

28.2

28.2

28.4

.519

.539

15.7%

21.5%

37.2%

4.6%

-10.5%

It's hard to prove Jason Giambi and Mark Reynolds are father and son, but it's also hard to disprove.
23

33

20

33.7

33.0

31.9

.589

.570

37.9%

48.1%

86.0%

-0.8%

2.2%

It's dangerous to bat Ryan Hanigan and Jack Hannahan back to back. Even Hanigan and Hannahan cannot tell each other apart.
24

21

30

25.6

27.5

27.6

.491

.471

0.1%

1.7%

1.8%

0.3%

-1.2%

Dioner Navarro is the first catcher to hit three homers in a game since John Buck, which while we're on the subject, do you want to trade for Alfonso Soriano?
25

24

26

22.2

22.9

22.0

.465

.485

3.1%

4.8%

7.9%

-1.4%

-0.1%

Brian Omogrosso's ERA is up to an even 7.00. That's just ... what's the word for it? Ah yes. Disgusting.
26

32

22

31.5

31.4

30.6

.557

.577

32.3%

29.9%

62.2%

-6.5%

-0.5%

John Lackey pushed the boundary of a quality start by allowing three solo home runs.
27

29

24

28.4

28.6

28.3

.504

.524

5.2%

12.7%

17.9%

3.1%

3.4%

Really getting tired of this Chris Davis-Miguel Cabrera MVP debate. It's the same thing every year.
28

31

21

30.7

29.6

28.7

.543

.523

65.2%

8.5%

73.7%

-3.7%

-7.3%

Do you remember that moment last night when time suddenly stopped? That was when Freddie Freeman tripled.
29

30

22

29.0

29.1

29.3

.544

.524

50.1%

9.3%

59.5%

4.5%

10.5%

Gerardo Parra leads the league with seven times caught stealing. He only has four stolen bases.
30

24

29

25.6

26.7

25.8

.516

.536

6.1%

14.7%

20.8%

2.4%

4.8%

Jered Weaver is back from the disabled list and nobody can touch him. It's a new clubhouse rule; they can't take any chances.