This is Barack Obama talking to Bostonians about the Kevin Youkilis trade. It goes pretty well, I guess.
Now I hope you'll all go into the comments and scream at each other about politics. Ohhhh boy there's nothing that makes my day like strangers on the internet screaming at each other about politics.
I read a story that during the Eisenhower years, the Orioles visited the White House and VP Nixon recognized the backup catcher and chatted him up. RIP Dick Nixon.
YOUKILIS AND 5.5 MILLION DOLLARS TO THE WHITE SOX FOR TWO BENCH PLAYERS? OBAMA AND THE CHICAGO MAFIA STRIKE AGAIN! I CAN SEE OPRAH'S FINGERPRINTS ALL OVER THIS ONE.
THOSE MORMONS WITH THEIR INFLATED OFFENSES IN SALT LAKE CITY THINK THAT ANYTHING LESS THAN A 1.000 SLG IS A SLUMP WHICH IS WHY ROMNEY WAS AGAINST MIKE TROUT BEING PROMOTED TO A MAJOR LEAGUE TEAM IN THE REPUBLICAN STATE OF CALIFORNIA!
OBAMA SHOULD SPEND LESS TIME WORRYING ABOUT THE GREEK GOD OF WALKS AND MORE TIME ADDRESSING THE GREEK FISCAL CRISIS. THIS (THE YOUK TRADE) WOULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED IF THE REPUBLICANS WERE IN POWER.
IT'S A LIBERAL CONSPIRACY! SOX TRADING WITH SOX! YOUKILIS IS A PAWN IN A SOX TRADE BETWEEN TWO LIBERAL CITIES WITH BLEEDING HEART LIBERALS TRYING TO OUT SCREW EACH OTHER!CLARK HOWARD AND DAVE RAMSEY BOTH THINK THIS IS A ONE SIDED DEAL, SO IT HAS TO BE A CONSPIRACY! GO SOX!
"THE RED SOX SHOULD GET RID OF YOUKILIS, HAVE ONE MASTER JANITOR, AND PAY LOCAL STUDENTS TWO DOLLARS AN HOUR TO PLAY FOR THE TEAM. THE KIDS WOULD ACTUALLY DO WORK; THEY'D HAVE CASH, THEY'D HAVE PRIDE IN THE RED SOX."
Rick Santorum:
"IT'S NOT, YOU KNOW, MAN ON CHILD, MAN ON DOG, MAN ON YOUKILIS, WHATEVER THE CASE MAY BE"
Michelle Bachman:
"I WILL TELL YOU THAT I HAD A MOTHER LAST NIGHT COME UP TO ME AFTER THE DEBATE. SHE TOLD ME THAT KEVIN YOUKILIS TOOK THAT VACCINE, THAT INJECTION, AND HE SUFFERED FROM MENTAL RETARDATION EVER SINCE."
Rick Perry:
"THREE GUYS WITH THE RED SOX, WHEN I GET THERE, THAT ARE GONE: KEVIN YOUKILIS, THEO EPSTEIN, AND -- WHO'S THE THIRD ONE THERE? LET'S SEE -- OK. SO YOUKILIS, EPSTEIN AND -- THE THIRD ONE -- YOUKILIS, EPSTEIN, AND -- I CAN'T. SORRY. OOPS."
Florida Rep. Alan West:
"KEVIN YOUKILIS SHOULD GET THE HELL OUT OF THE BOSTON, AND YES I SAID HELL!"
Herman Cain:
"OK, YOUKILIS. [pause] PRESIDENT OBAMA SUPPORTED THE TRADE, RIGHT? PRESIDENT OBAMA CALLED FOR THE REMOVAL OF YOUKILIS. I JUST WANTED TO MAKE SURE WE'RE TALKING ABOUT THE SAME THING BEFORE I SAY, 'YES, I AGREED' OR NO I DIDN'T AGREE.'
I DO NOT AGREE WITH THE WAY OBAMA HANDLED YOUKILIS FOR THE FOLLOWING REASON — NOPE, THAT'S A DIFFERENT ONE. [pause] I GOTTA GO BACK AND SEE. I GOT ALL THIS STUFF ABOUT YOUKILIS TWIRLING AROUND IN MY HEAD."
George W. Bush: "I'M TELLING YOU THERE'S AN ENEMY THAT WOULD LIKE TO ATTACK AMERICA, AMERICANS, AGAIN! THERE JUST IS! THAT'S THE REALITY OF THE WORLD. AND I WISH HIM THE BEST!" (sometimes, direct quotes ar the funniest)
Bill Clinton: "I DID NOT HAVE TRADE RELATIONS WITH THE WHITE SOX."
Ok, I'll start: "OBAMA SHOULDN'T BE TALKING ABOUT BASEBALL! HE SHOULD BE DOING MORE POLITIC-Y THINGS! (insert random Obama slam here)."
Needless to say, I was not on the debate team in college.
SO SICK OF HEARING OBAMA TALKING ABOUT YOUKILIS' CAP AND TRADE