March 21, 2012

Bates' Dugout Motel

CJ Wilson's Next 14 Tweets

by Michael Bates

Mark Saxon is reporting that after tweeting out former batterymate Mike Napoli’s phone number over the weekend, CJ Wilson has decided to take a little break from Twitter. It’s probably a smart decision for him to take some time to cool down, to reconsider what he did, maybe to apologize to Napoli and pay a fine to Major League Baseball.

Twitter is a wonderful medium for networking, for sharing instant reactions to news and events, and for trying out material. Interacting with other fans enriches the experience of watching games. It’s like being at a bar with a thousand or so of your closest friends, but without the hassle of actually having to meet anyone. It’s the best way for fans to interact with their favorite players and to build interest in the game on both a local and national level.

It’s not so great, however, for playing pranks, especially when you have 117,000 followers. With great power comes great responsibility, as Spidey says, and it’s clear that Wilson did not exercise good judgment in this case. Wilson willfully and maliciously invaded Napoli’s privacy, especially since Napoli doesn’t actually consider Wilson a friend. It’s also pretty clear that Wilson needs to reevaluate how he’s going to use Twitter going forward.

Not that it seems like he’s going to. Wilson continues to insist he did nothing wrong, refuses to apologize, and intentionally seemed to snub Napoli yesterday during his conversation with reporters. It’s like he’s in the movie Mean Girls.

Fortunately, Wilson’s reign of Twitter tyranny has halted for now. However, using the extensive resources available to me through the power of the Baseball Prospectus name (which I generally will use responsibly), I was able to acquire a list of previously forthcoming CJ Wilson tweets that will thankfully never be unleashed on the general public:

@str8edgeracer: Adrian Beltre’s medical history is gross dude. Look at what happens when you don’t wear a cup: twitpic.--------------

@str8edgeracer: Josh Hamilton’s accountabilibuddy waits for him to go to sleep and then goes out and gets ripped at Senor Frog’s.

@str8edgeracer: I had to ply the Rangers with all kinds of mood enhancers to get them to let me start in 2010. I’m not proud of myself.

@str8edgeracer: All of Cliff Lee’s kids are adopted. Shhh. Don’t tell them, they don’t know yet.

@str8edgeracer: Nolan Ryan never uses Advil or buys grass seed.

@str8edgeracer: Michael Young and I would eat lunch every day and he kept demanding I trade him my dessert for his. Get it through your head, dude, I don’t like Hostess Cherry Pies.

@str8edgeracer: Those people in the stands that Frank Francisco hit didn’t do anything, man. That was all Brian Shouse throwing his voice. He’s really good at it.

@str8edgeracer: Ironically, Nelson Cruz’s real name is actually Fausto Carmona.

@str8edgeracer: I don’t think Michael Young sends his kids to a very good school. It’s at _____________, which is a really bad neighborhood when they get out at 3:30 to walk home.

@str8edgeracer: Jon Daniels never learns anybody’s first name, so he won’t feel bad when he trades them.

@str8edgeracer: Elvis Andrus was telling me that he’s been having trouble finding good security back home in Venezuela. He’s bringing in a guy, but will be ridiculously vulnerable for the next 2 weeks.

@str8edgeracer: Bengie Molina makes his kids sleep in catchers’ gear “so they can carry on after I’m gone.”

@str8edgeracer: Colby Lewis is so dumb. Dude, don’t make your ATM number your birthday. 8279 is the first thing somebody’s going to check when they steal your wallet.

@str8edgeracer: Ian Kinsler is the best kept secret on the Rangers. Don’t tell.

Michael Bates is an author of Baseball Prospectus. 
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